It has been a crazy couple of weeks. Deep cleaning the restaurant. A month of "good byes" and costume parties. Lots of uncertainty surrounding "what comes next". Then two weeks of visiting friends and family. Routines and habits have ceased to exist. I've done a pretty good job of fitting in exercise and veggies, but I have also indulged in foods and drinks that I missed during my six months in Yellowstone. I have returned to writing and reading to help relax during this period of incubation. I've been grappling with continuing the habits and values I came to find, with this reacquainted freedom - especially while in New York City.
I believe in cultivating space around choices. I believe in giving yourself permission to indulge when it is deeply wanted. I believe that your daily choices can truly align with, and not detract from, your bigger goals.
When life as I knew it started to dissolve 18 months ago I made decisions of extremes and felt completely out of control.
My time away started in a similar tone, acting out of emotions. Sometimes it was wine (or gin or whisky). Sometimes it was a run (Rarely. But that improved when my relationships did). At other times it was sobbing in the fetal position (or in the shower or into my pillow).
Time and distance have allowed me to make space. Time and distance are great healers and teachers.
So this is about self care, right?
Yup. All those moments, even if they don't sound like I was caring for myself, I was.
I've decided (well, life had a big say in this), that my twenties were rigid, focused, well-behaved, safe.
My thirties started out like a violent metamorphosis. I finally feel like my wings are ready for flight... Just a few more uncomfortable moments... But I can feel the readiness to jump into a new life and a new way of living it.
The point of all this is simple. You want to feel special, pampered, taken care of. You want to save money and avoid guilt. You want to honor your bigger goals. So you buy the drugstore facial packs. No they aren't organic and twenty-something pre-divorce you would never put all of those chemicals on your face. But thirty-something you is more forgiving, softer, and has her eyes on the bigger picture (she also uses coffee, coconut oil, and honey the rest of the year).
So take care of yourself. Give yourself permission. Allow space to make decisions.
And always trust your intuition. The feelings in your cells are your best friend. And the best part? They get stronger and braver and more confident everytime you listen to them.
When life as I knew it started to dissolve 18 months ago I made decisions of extremes and felt completely out of control.
My time away started in a similar tone, acting out of emotions. Sometimes it was wine (or gin or whisky). Sometimes it was a run (Rarely. But that improved when my relationships did). At other times it was sobbing in the fetal position (or in the shower or into my pillow).
Time and distance have allowed me to make space. Time and distance are great healers and teachers.
So this is about self care, right?
Yup. All those moments, even if they don't sound like I was caring for myself, I was.
I've decided (well, life had a big say in this), that my twenties were rigid, focused, well-behaved, safe.
My thirties started out like a violent metamorphosis. I finally feel like my wings are ready for flight... Just a few more uncomfortable moments... But I can feel the readiness to jump into a new life and a new way of living it.
The point of all this is simple. You want to feel special, pampered, taken care of. You want to save money and avoid guilt. You want to honor your bigger goals. So you buy the drugstore facial packs. No they aren't organic and twenty-something pre-divorce you would never put all of those chemicals on your face. But thirty-something you is more forgiving, softer, and has her eyes on the bigger picture (she also uses coffee, coconut oil, and honey the rest of the year).
So take care of yourself. Give yourself permission. Allow space to make decisions.
And always trust your intuition. The feelings in your cells are your best friend. And the best part? They get stronger and braver and more confident everytime you listen to them.
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