Here: http://markmanson.net/passion
and here too: http://thirtyisreal.com
An exercise on clarity and commitment. And ways to make sure you stay close to your biggest wants, wishes, and dreams. Because that stuff matters. More goodness as promised...
Here: http://markmanson.net/passion and here too: http://thirtyisreal.com
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It has been a roller coaster evening. After posting today's video on Thirty is real I went out for a run. I thought I would give a newly discovered trail a second chance. And I was so happy I did. I was feeling frustrated that I didn't get out and take advantage of the sunshine and blue skies. I was frustrated that I was getting out just before dusk. But, I accepted that I had other tasks that kept me busy during the day, and I felt good enough that I was getting out at all.
And per usual, I wasn't disappointed. I found a bend in the path that I missed last week. I was able to run along the coast with the most amazing views of the surrounding city, the mountains, and the sunset. I stopped more than once to take it all in. And once again, I was reminded to trust. To let go and let it happen. To accept the timing of life, to have compassion, and to take action. I think this is the cycle to live by. At least for me, right now. Accept, compassion, action. Rinse and repeat. Tonight's run felt right. It felt good to be where I was in that moment. I have had a lot of feelings, thoughts, and emotions in the 10 days since arriving in Victoria. Homesickness, doubt, fear, excitement, hope... But there was something deeper I hit on tonight. I think it was that feeling in the top of the gut, that feeling of "home". It is the feeling my partner provided. It is the kind of feeling your best friend gives when you hear their voice, or when you step into your grandparents house, or when you hear a certain verse in a certain song. As I ran around this path tonight, I couldn't help but feel like I had been here before, seen this landscape before. The Pacific Northwest has been calling to me for a few years now. I have dreamed of Seattle, Portland, being among the trees, mountains, and ocean. Living in sweaters and mist and fog. I grew up in a coastal town in New England, so it makes sense I suppose. But that never felt like home. I always felt pulled away from where I grew up. It is familiar but free of baggage. It is new yet comfortable. It is grounding and expansive. My short but powerful meeting with a tarot reader a month ago brought up two powerful and current issues for me - the idea of "needing to go" and "my thousand past lives" (specifically the weight of carrying them and how they make me feel "big"). Maybe my life is meant to fill up those lives. To allow each past part of my soul find their home, if only for a moment, or season. Maybe that is why I seek something I cannot articulate. Maybe it is why I am comfortable with the bigger unknown, and find so much joy in the journey and the process of exploration and learning. I returned back to my current home, the apartment of a soul-mate I met while in Costa Rica one year ago. I felt ok. Tired, but ok. As I sat down to write this post, Google felt the need to remind me of where I was two years ago. All of these images of smiles and love and celebration hit me. I couldn't help but look. And I cried. I sobbed. It took all of my energy not to email him. It took all of my energy to not share one picture in particular with the world. Misery loves company. I tried to stay grounded as the tears fell, as my chest heaved: "Why email him?". "What will it accomplish?" "How will it make you feel better?" "How will he respond?"And I knew the answers to those questions. And that hurt just as badly. So I closed the tab on my computer. And if you are like me, and like so many of us, you then went straight for the kitchen. I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel full. I wanted a distraction. I wanted comfort. Luckily, my roommate and I keep a clean kitchen. And I once again stopped myself. Acceptance, compassion, action. I closed the fridge and put on the kettle. I can find comfort in a cup of tea. I can feel full in other ways. I can separate myself from excuses. And so here we are. My to-do list is beside me, and I have cashews begging to be made into cheese... One step forward, one step at a time. May you bring acceptance, compassion, and action into your day. And may you always find ways to feel right at home. I decided to take the same route running this afternoon. I am seeking a routine as I settle into week one in my new home. I wanted to go just one minute longer, to see the view just beyond the perspective I gained yesterday. And of course, it was so worth it. I paused and let it take my breath for a moment (you can see a short video over on Instagram).
Most of us need to step out of our comfort zone in at least one way. Maybe it is committing to less, complaining less, or consuming less. Most of us also need to do more. Like more movement, more phone calls to grandparents, more compassion for ourselves and strangers. I feel like life in the comfort zone is akin to the ostrich with its head in the sand. Sure, he is happy and safe and in familiar territory. But is he really? Or is he missing out on the big picture, on the potential of life? What does he risk not gaining by not challenging his surroundings, versus becoming one with them? I suppose this piggybacks on yesterday's post about perspective. But the key for me is to challenge it all. To push yourself to a place where you can gain new insight into your current state of being. A place to check in. And honestly, to enjoy the instant gratification of pushing yourself to a new place, to seeing it all from a newer, bigger, and brighter vantage point. I am excited to see where my run will take me tomorrow. I went for my first run in over a week. My first run since arriving in Victoria. I ran without GPS, without music. I ran without worry for my breath, my posture, or my pace. I simply ran. And it felt really f'ing good. There was a heavy drizzle, gray skies, and scenery that is becoming familiar. Landmarks that are becoming beacons.
I thought of this process, of who I am, who I remain in this new environment. I think of my moments of fear earlier in the week and how I wanted to run once again. Did I leave in haste? Did I not properly prepare? Can I really make this work? I have always liked to think that I am running towards something, and not away from something else. What is the difference? Perspective? Control? Comfort? Does it matter? Who are we answering to other than ourselves? Is it better to run than be still? Is it better to take action versus risking stagnancy? Are we lying to ourselves or creating our reality? I am not sure if I know, and I am not sure if it truly matters. All we have is our experience. All we have is the power over the choices we make in each moment. Those moments add up to create our life. So whether we are running from something or towards something is simply our perspective, it is simply our decision on how we interpret our environment. It is how we take back our power to react. It is what separates victims from victors. Creators from destroyers. From those who complain and take cover to those who step up and step out. So for now, I will keep running. And how ever anyone else perceives that is up to them. All I have is me. All I can do is act in ways that fill me up, that reassure and reaffirm my choices. And live in the moments that allow me to inquire on my current state. I'd rather live in gross denial, in a heightened state of self. One that allows me to run towards something than from one. I'd rather live as someone whose lungs are bursting with drive and curiosity, whose eyes are wide with delight, and whose heart is willing to work a little bit harder to reach a new depth. I don't know why I want to do things for him. I don't know why I continue to reach out, continue to produce gestures that may have an effect. Since the day I moved out he hasn't reached out, he hasn't made any attempts or gestures toward me. No acts of affection or words that would make me believe he is missing me, or wanting me, or even thinking of me. So why am I still acting in such ways? Is it out of habit? Out of frustration? I genuinely miss him. But deep down I must know better. Am I a total glutton? When will I get it? When will I see how this doesn't serve. How many times does he have to tell me to stop before I do? Before I really accept this is how he wants it to lie - like it never existed. Can the doughnut just be a gift. Can it make him smile? That is my intention. But have I lost that privilege? Do I continue to just do as he says, not question or fight, but go along with what he wants and the decisions he makes? I can recognize this is how we learned to be, the habits and roles we created... But I know that wouldn't serve me or us (and therefore him) in the long term. The other option is to continue to act how I wish to and suffer the consequences. Torturing us both. 11 days to go. Leaving will hold a lot of answers and space for me. I'm ready.
"I get a lot of earth coming from you," she said the moment I sat down. "What is your sign?" I confirmed her intuition and replied, "Capricorn." "I am getting the weight of a thousand lifetimes - you're really big, you're a really big person - you feel that, don't you?" I smile ear to ear, my eyes become glassy, and goosebumps appear on my arms. "You feel how big you are" and she continues to shuffle the tarot card deck. Her expression is one of knowing, and feels genuine, like she also carries the weight of her self, her impact, her gifts, and her spirit. "You need to go. I am not sure what this means but I just keep getting the sensation that you need to go. I'm sorry I can't get anything more specific than that. Does that makes sense to you? It might be a relationship or an apartment or a job, but you need to go." Whoa. I feel that in my chest, the heart space behind my ribs, that newly familiar place of ache. Of breaking, of expansion. I nod my head and I tell her "Yes." I am quickly approaching that point. In 12 days I'll be leaving New York. I have a one-way ticket to Vancouver, a hope, and a prayer. I also have the most incredible friends. They have held my hands, grabbed me by the shoulders, and looked me in the eyes as I sob, as I feel completely helpless, as I sit on the sidewalk in moments of intense sadness and panic. They have told me how brave I am, how strong I am, and how I'm doing what's best for me right now. I'm so ready to move forward. I'm so ready to get out of this room in an apartment that isn't ours. So ready to get out of this inbetween place - truly purgatory (but with tequila). This summer has felt like tumbling in the waves; at times fun, exciting, playful, and free. At other times it's terrifying, suffocating, and you can't tell which way is up or down. You can't tell your hands from your feet and you have no idea if you'll come up in time to take a breath. So is life I suppose... But this has been so much more extreme than any other moments I can recal - even from growing up. I'm ready to move forward. So ready to get out of this. I'm so ready to start thinking about myself again, to start thinking about what I need to do in order to have the life that I want. I'm so ready to be on my own and no longer be living in what was supposed to be a temporary apartment, no longer living in a city that I feel imprisoned by. No longer feeling like I have to figure out how to be happy because I love someone too much to do or say anything else. I'm so ready to be in charge of myself, so ready to let him go, so ready to forgive myself and so ready to forgive him. I'm so ready to get back to me. To have a vegan diet and go on long runs true nature. I'm ready to stop getting blackout drunk. For not needing to escape in such an unhealthy way (It's been fun, but I don't do anything in moderation). I'm so ready for things to be easy. To be 100% in charge of what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, and how I'm doing it. I'm really excited to start this new chapter. It's time. 2015 has been a bear and the summer has been beyond - I don't have words. The crazy thing is, I wouldn't trade any of it. The experiences, the people I've met, the people who love me, who have shown me and taught me so much about myself - it's overwhelming. But it has also shown me how big I truly am, it's like validation, or confirmation from the universe. It is helping me to own a little bit of the idea that I am different and that I am meant for more and that that is ok. One of the regulars and I were getting a little weepy and he said to me, "You are special, you have a way of touching people."I just smiled and shook my head "no" and he continued, "you are so bright, you're like a solar flare." To be seen in that way, especially when I've haven't felt less appealing, less attractive, less wanted, in a really long time, was huge. To have someone who knows me in a small way, over a short amount of time, and during my darkest days, say something like that - it is amazing. It gives me hope. It gives me the ownership I need to take a step forward, to know that I do deserve more, and to know that I am making the right choice. It's that moment of "you've got this" from the universe. To be seen like that reminds me of Costa Rica and how I felt that recognition in such a deep way for the first time. It is still hard to articulate. There are moments where I think "have I been overreacting?" "Have I become an egomaniac?" How much can I analyze, can I see how this brings me back to my childhood and adolescence? How much can I look back and dissect and rework? How do I stop wondering if I created something out of nothing? How do I stop worrying that I was "upper limiting"? I keep dumping all of the puzzle pieces on the floor and trying to fit them together. But even if I get close they don't match the picture on the box. It feels like I stirred a pot that he didn't see as needing stirring, so the pot was emptied and thrown away. Why wasn't the pot allowed to settle and simmer? Why didn't I fight (or did I? What else could I try?) for the pot to be left alone or for one more tweak of the recipe? Why did I just let him let it go? But he also wasn't happy with me, what I was and wasn't... When I feel pure sadness I try to remind myself that this is my first breakup. I have no barometer for this. I have no way to understand this kind of loss. How to digest what has happened, and what has not. I have to stay present with respecting how he's choosing to deal with this and how he has chosen to act. It is so hard and takes so much energy. I have moments where I stop myself from reaching out to him and I reach out to a friend instead. At other times I am fucking tired of respect and respecting the fact that he's done, and that it's black-and-white. But that's how he deals with things. And I remind myself that that is not the type of person I want to be with. Not the type of person that one can co-create a sustainable lifetime with. So there it stands. This constant dance. Or tug of war. For the next 12 days I'm going to probably drink too much, eat too much, laugh, and cry too much. I am going to soak it all up because it is all so temporary. That has been the other amazing part of this whole thing - to think six years. They were beautiful and I was happy but I should've asked questions, I should've spoken up more, I should've stood up more for who I was and what I needed and what I wanted. I shouldn't have allowed myself to believe that I was the problem. I shouldn't have allowed myself to believe that he knew what was best. But I loved him. And I thought that was enough. And I know he was always acting from a place of love and preservation. We both were always doing what we thought was best. Playing it safe and trusting a little too much. And to remove the "should's" leaves lessons learned. Leaves beautiful memories that cut so deeply. I need to accept all that led me to this here and now. How I can't get through a lap in the park without crying. Here I am - 30, single, living pay check to pay check with a one way ticket. I know I have options. I know I'm worth more, and I know I'll figure this out. It's what I do, it's who I am. I navigate between the self-help personal development nonsense of trying to change that to the acceptance of who I am at my core and how that doesn't need to change, it just needs to work for me, it needs to be cultivated and cared for. I know on the other side of this it is going to be bigger and better than it's ever been before. I'm going to make choices that allow me to have everything I want, everything I need, and everything I deserve. Fast-Paced Foodie may look different or have a different function. My coaching will expand in its message. My yoga practice will continue with more consistency and depth. I want to have a running podcast (I have serious thought-provoking sessions while hitting the streets). It is a way that I want to share with people and I hope it will inspire others to run as well, or to at least get outside and move. I want to get back to cooking and creating. Having roommates and living in a home that wasn't mine didn't feel right. Not having my dishes, pots, and pans didn't feel right. I avoided it like the plague. But I'm ready to face being in the kitchen. I'm ready to bring cooking back into my life and sharing that with people is something that really matters to me. I will be writing a lot more and working to get some of that published. I will be looking into what's next for my lifetime of continued learning - maybe Ayurveda, or personal training, or spinning. I'll be searching for the job or career that will support the lifestyle I want and the goals that I have. It is scary in the best possible way. And good, bad, and otherwise, it is all mine. I am 100% responsible for being right here, right now. Thank you for sticking around. Working through some serious stuff. I don't even know what it is. But it is raw and it is real, and visceral. It feels like death and birth all at the same time. I don't know how to “get it out” or honor it in any other than write, so here it is. It is in my chest, raw, powerful, almost violent. Yet soft and supple, and just wanting to fall away. He is so beautiful and wonderful and simple. And this makes me well up with so much emotion. It should make this easier, it should bring me support, comfort, clarity, hope... That is what I want it to do. But it only makes me hurt deeper, clouds my vision, and makes me want to run for the hills. The trouble is, there is no such thing is should. It isn't real. It only adds to my guilt. Which obviously doesn't help the cycle.
Am I mourning the end of something beautiful? Or am I just shedding more skin to step into it? Am I preparing for the end of something and expressing remorse and fear? Or am I fighting the beauty and truth of my reality, simply fighting it, not allowing myself to fall into it? Or do I know its time to move on? To take action and do the scariest, yuckiest option? Does it make me cry because it is right and real? Or does it make me cry because it is wrong and false? I need a tarot card, a shooting star, a sign from the heavens. I want to believe in miracles. I want to believe my Inner Guide is helping me, is showing me my truth. I want to trust this process and sit and meditate and breathe. But I also know such sweet packages rarely show up on our doorstep. I've learned in my 30 years that you have to not only ask for it, but go get it, and struggle a bit. Is that my story, a self-fulfilling prophecy or simply my destiny? Does it matter? I suppose not. The hardest part is, I want to want it all. I want this to be enough. I want to turn off and fall asleep and move through this life, things as they are, and be full and be happy and never ask for more. But I can't. Something in me is screaming. Is begging for something else. And that hurts. And it is frustrating and it makes me want to keep searching, keep writing, keep mediating. Is it real? Am I leaning the right way? Am I not trying hard enough? Is there another way? But this only leads to further anxiety, darker circles under my eyes, more heartache. Only makes me feel flawed or sense impending doom. And then I just want to run. To stop analyzing myself. To stop asking the hard questions. To just move home with my Mom and go to the beach, and teach yoga, and start again. The 21 year old me is appalled, but she was only so brave, so aware. Part of me envies her though. She was selfish and inspiring in her own right. If only she knew her greatness... But that wasn't the plan. I am here and now. And I choose where I will be. It can be good or bad. The choice is mine. I am so done with self-help and perspective and choose love and all that positive psychology BS. I need to stop. I need to just be. But be somewhere else. I cant think here. I love him too much and I hate NYC too much. It makes this just beyond overwhelming, So damn stressful. So exhausting. I need the ocean. I need a tribe. I need to figure this out, to have a plan, to take a step, any step, before I drown or spontaneously combust. My head is pounding. More water. Less brain-dumping. More cuddling and movies and breathing. Is that positive distraction? Is that healing? Or is that an escape? What is feeding what? And at what point do we stop questioning it all? How do we stay small and accept. How long do we remind ourselves of the "why" versus moving towards the "how". Less than two weeks before I get on that plane, say good bye to all I know, and hopefully, find more of the answers I seek, More of the space I need. This has been on my mind, and I had a realization last night, so I thought I would muse here and work through it with you. I am a huge believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. I decided this at a very young age and have stuck to it since. As I move through life and think of the people I am growing away from, as well as those whom I have become so close to, I can't help but be in awe. Everyone is sent to us. It may fleeting. It may be eye contact, a "thank you", simply holding a door open. It could be a yoga teacher, a server in a restaurant, or that person who helps you at the shoe store. It may last 10 minutes, or 10 years. But the point is, there is a lesson and a gift in every exchange. Don't underestimate what you can learn from or share with a stranger. Don't be afraid to smile, ask a question, or pay a compliment. Sometimes we latch on to these moments, these people, and the feelings that come along with them. Not every compliment will lead to a kiss. Not every dance party will lead to an epic hook up. Not every text will lead to an "I do". This is the tricky part. Sometimes we hold on long after the moment has past. The ego is a hungry and greedy beast. We keep going back to the source, craving more. I think that moment is the key. It is when we need to let go and look forward. Express gratitude for the experience, and trust if there is to be more of it, it will seek you. Know what you gained in that singular moment has wealth, and that wanting more will not serve you. The Universe totally has our back. We just need to be clear in what we are asking for. Give your attention to that desired feeling, as that is what you want more of. Focusing on the hunt, or the lack, will only yield more frustration and insecurity. As the oh so handsome Preston Smiles has said, "don't want people who don't want you." I am realizing that I fall hard. Not just for people, but places and things. I bought a new sweater on Monday and I've worn it nearly every day since. I will play the same song on repeat for hours, or days. And it isn't attachment. I think it is the opposite. It is as if I know at any minute it could all change, so I want to enjoy it as much as possible while it is there. The point is, I love people. I love who they are, where they've been, and where they want to go. My heart opens to them, wants to hear them, see them, hold space for them. Only recently have I seen how this can cause me heartache or stress, and as a very dear friend said to me, "it isn't always a good look." - it isn't the best version of who I am. I know I am bigger and brighter and better than chasing someone, but I feel so much, so deeply, that it is hard to ignore it sometimes (I could digress here, and get into the idea of "better" because, you know what? Maybe I am not "better" than that. Maybe that is exactly what I want and need. But, that is a tangent for another day). I also know that I have a kind of sixth sense about people, and I sense energy and connectivity on a deeper level. A gift and a curse. I love the chase. It part of why I love to run and why I love the asana practice of yoga (my handstand is so close I could scream). It is why I love to learn new things, and why I am always seeking more. I recently discovered my moon sign is Aries and it has me nailed to a T. My sun sign is Capricorn and my rising sign is Taurus. As one of my besties pointed out, "you can't get more bullish than that!" She is so observant and quite witty. I know where that behavior stems from, but I don't believe it is important. I don't think I need therapy or self-help books to change it or fix it. I think I just need to learn how to make it work for me, and not against me. Because I don't believe we are flawed. I believe all of us need to use our unique experiences and strengths in a way that make us stronger, not weaker. In ways that make us feel empowered, not victimized. Fewer excuses, more ownership. I feel the impermanence of where I am right now on so many levels. It is scary, but I am grateful for it. And when I take a step back and look at the last seven months and what has transpired I am floored. I am in disbelief. And yet I feel all of it in every cell of my body and soul. And I stay grateful and I stay present and I trust. I am so thankful for this journey and for all of the amazingly awesome people who have been a part of it. For the people who love me as I am. For the people who believe in me. Who get me. Who know which questions to ask and which to not. For the people for have simply been there. You are everything to me. Please check out Beau Taplin (on Instagram or through his books). The man is so remarkable with words. He gets it. He is someone I would love to share space with. Just to look eye to eye with someone who feels life that way. And that is my new threshold. I only want to share my energy and my life with people who are willing to go there. Because otherwise, why bother?
The pain I My new furrow lines. I know they will fade over time. They will soften with smiles, with yoga, and with smoothies. They will release over tea (or cocktails) with friends, with late night dance parties, and with long summer runs. For now, they don't define me. Or make me look sad or older. They don't distract from who I am. I've decided they are beautiful. They are a battle wound. A right of passage. I've decided that when I get all dolled up they actually accentuate the sparkle in my eyes, or the joy in my cheeks. And when I am au natural they show the tenderness of my soul and the depth of my spirit. The pain I experience in my center. I won't get Botox or buy fancy cremes, lotions, or serums. I'll cry when I need to and breathe deep when I can. I will laugh and hug whenever the opportunities present themselves. Ownership is sexy and powerful. It feels so good flowing through my veins. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we owned all of it? Those 5 pounds we've gained, or hold on to. Our bed head, our boisterous laugh, our pigeon pose? Can you imagine the freedom you would feel if you could truly let go and just relax into it? And beyond that, be proud of it? Respect it? Maybe even give it a high five? I believe there is so much power and release in those moments. They are why we are here. To feel and love and shine. That is where the healing happens. Where the growth comes in. Those are the catalysts we need to experience in order to live our best life. Where can you bring more compassion and love into your day? How can you honor all parts of your self, both physically and emotionally? What makes you feel expansive, beautiful, and joyful? I'd love to know. #letitbeeasy #marchon #thirtyisreal
My paternal grandmother had a serious green thumb. I loved her knowledge of plants, the way she cared for them, and how she let it all happen organically. I remember as a little girl (even then super sensitive and compassionate) wondering in awe why she would cut them back mercilessly. "It is for their own good" she would say. To me, it just seemed destructive or cruel. This has been a big theme for me over the last 6 months. The idea of "destroy before you create" as Danielle LaPorte so eloquently puts it. But back to the innate wisdom of plants. Meet Baxter. We found each other the first of the month. He was without color, wilted, petals released. He appeared dead and many would have simply thrown him away. This photo was taken a day later - he is reinvigorated with life after a solid watering. I am guessing he was left on his own for a few weeks, maybe longer. I had faith in his innate being. I had faith that with water, sunshine, and good vibes, he would show up and find his true purpose, his reason for existing, once again. Here is Baxter about 2 weeks ago. Check that out! I was so inspired day by day to see his progress. Plants have this amazing knowledge to crack out of a seed, to push up through the dark soil, and to reach for a sun that they only believe is on the other side. They move with the wind, they adapt to changing temperatures and droughts. All to bloom and reproduce. They don't do it for recognition or money, but because it is their truth. All the while, we are able to enjoy their beauty which is a side-effect of their process. I think that is pretty cool. (Mark Nepo has a beautiful piece on this process in "Seven Thousand Ways to Listen". You can purchase it through my Amazon store via the "Shop" page) There also isn't a pinnacle in their lives. At what point would you say they achieved perfection? Each stage has is glory. And I think we can take a lot from that as well. There is no moment of arrival. It is a constant adaptation to environment, to showing up and surviving. And to doing what it knows how to do. Nearly a month later, Baxter is full in bloom. He makes me smile throughout the day. Its like we are in this together. And I realized this morning during my sun salutations how it brings me back to Costa Rica, and the fern I chose to tattoo on my left arm. This plant is commonly referred to as the "shy fern" for it has this beautiful adaptation that allows it to close when threatened and re-open moments later. My fellow yoginis and I would search for them on our walks into town. In its native area the locals refer to it as "morir vivir" or, "to die, to live". That struck me in a really profound way. It was the perfect symbol to honor my trip, my yoga training, and the experience of that month-long journey. We need to close and let go in order to survive. Yet, we need to be open and to trust in order to grow. Our capacity to hold on to things, feelings, emotions, memories, and experiences, is what makes us human. But it can cause us a lot of physical pain, through stress, tension, excess weight, and disease. It can cause us to stay in comfortable situations, even when we aren't fulfilled or happy. It can lead to fear, apathy, and regret. We need to learn to let go in order to not only survive, but to THRIVE.
What are you holding on to that is holding you back? How can you be more open and trusting? Where can you apply the wisdom of plants in your own life? What does your own rebirth or blossoming look like? Please share. |
AuthorI love things that make the world brighter; mantras, a tasty meal, a great workout, serious self-love, dance music, a genuine hug, laughter and let's face it, tequila. May my journey exploring what makes me feel most fulfilled inspire you on yours. Archives
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